A. no it was a wonderful life, absolutely marvelous
oh -- GBS
yes, bernard shaw, every time
he was wonderful
he obviously liked children, I think, because he was a natural, he really was
he used to -- mind you, mind you
he used to play hunt the thimble with us, and he cheated
he used to look
and we were desperately upset when we found he was cheating

C. one visit which was during the first war
hehe
we weren't allowed bread with jam AND butter
you could have jam OR butter -- wartime
and GBS asked for jam
grandma looked at him and said "but you've got butter on your bread you can't have both"
oh
so the next thing we spotted was
he sort of held up his plate to grandma and said look that's only a slice of dry bread
now can I have jam please
and she said yes, of course
but we'd seen him turn the slice of bread over, and the butter was on the underside

A. we were horrified

C. and we were horrified

A. I think -- and we were probably thinking, why on earth didn't WE think of that

C. absolutely, very envious

anyhow, we were all upset about this
and also he was ill I think afterwards
but anyhow we were upset about it
and grandma said, well you know he was very hurt that you thought he was cheating
so we'll -- you must send him some apples, some of your special apples
so we sent him off some apples
and we had a most marvelous poem
which he sent as thank you
and it was written in his own handwriting on post
on the back of postcards which have pictures on one side
and it um
it started

GBS. two ladies of Galway called Catherine and Anna
whom some call Acushla and some call Alanna
on finding the gate of the fruit garden undone
stole grandma's apples and sent them to London
and grandma said the poor village schoolchildren
were better behaved than the well-brought-up Coole children
and threatened them with the most merciless whippings
if ever again they laid hand on her pippins
in vain they explained that the man who was battening
on grandma's apples would die without fattening
she seized the piano and threw it at Anna
and shrieking at Catherine, “just let me catch you”
she walloped her hard with the drawing-room statue
god save us, herself has gone crazy, cried Marian
is that how a lady of title should carry on?
if you dare to address me like that, shouted granny
goodbye to your wages, you shan't have a penny
go back to your pots and your pans and your canisters
with that she threw Marian over the banisters
and now, declared granny, I feel so much better
that I'll write Mr Shaw a most beautiful letter
and tell him how happy our lives are at Coole
under grandmama darling's beneficent rule

A. it was absolutely wonderful getting that absolute

C. wasn't it marvelous

A. it was absolutely terrific
he was wonderful
but there you are
long time ago